Dear Christians who want everything they do to be marked with a Christian-friendly approval:
America is not a fan of you. In fact, America doesn't like the following types: immigrants who refuse to speak English but still demand that somebody understand them, people who are not willing to take the blame for their own lack of common sense (coffee=hot!), people who want to make us feel guilty for simple pleasures (e.g.: meat-eating), and people who insist that they only affiliate with people who are exactly like them. This is a nation founded on conflict and intellectual debate, and to effectively remove yourselves from the debate by not associating with anyone but other Christians is (in my opinion) unAmerican.
I completely understand the desire for Christian churches (duh), Christian schools, Christian holidays, Christian jewelry, Christian music, Christian literature, Christian apparel, and Christian get-togethers (e.g.: picnics and dances). I respect that Christians are proud of whom they are, want to be in an atmosphere where they may practice their beliefs without having to explain them, and just like hanging out with other Christians. But I am not so tolerant of Christian literary magazines, Christian cookbooks, Christian universities, Christian hospitals, Christian bars, Christian plumbers, Christian how-to-knit guides, Christian banks, Christian summer camps (those which have nothing to do with Christianity except being run by Christians), and Christian restaurants. Now you guys are just being silly. It would not hurt for you to step into the world of mainstream America and notice that the rest of us, the sinful and the unsaved, would be happy to have a polite conversation with you over coffee. Perhaps if you came down from your ivory towers and realized that the rest of the world has some really neat stuff in it (you'd be amazed where the arts have come since they stopped being endorsed by the Church!), then maybe you'd realize that the only thing good about your version of certain things is that it's "morally good."
Seriously guys, your music hasn't been good since Bach.
Oh, and lay off that apocalypse shit for a year or two. That shit's been old since 1001 A.D.
Love,
Zan
P.S.: Rant brought to you by the Christian Literary Magazine, Wide Awake, at UVa
9.02.2007
A letter to the exclusionary Christians.
-- 5:03 PM
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3 love notes:
I protest!
To lots of things, but especially that there hasn't been decent church music since Bach. What about the countless masses, requiems, Ave Marias and the like, by the masters, such as Mozart, or Fauré, or Verdi, and so on.
When you end with such a comment I dare venture that either you must be the more "poppy" type music, or that you are writing such things only out of spite. For any lover of orchestral music, such words can't be anything other than untrue.
And even if you were into poppy music, there have still been some Christian bands that were poppy in their time, such as Low, or Creed, if I recall correctly.
As for other things, there is nothing wrong with Christian literature, which is not generally wrong with other literature.
And why the hate towards the non-English speaking immigrants? As far as I know, when Americans go around the world they usually expect others to be able to understand them without caring to learn language of the land.
As for the part of removing themselves from the general culture and creating a bubble of Christian culture around them, this has been the way with Christians for long, and they have in fact been persecuted for it, such as in the Roman empire. They couldn't be good Roman citizens if they refused to serve in the army, and so on.
And Christians are not the only group which bubbles itself in other places. The Jews were another such group. They have all those things too. And then there are the Hindus with their Yogas, and so on.
So, tell me, is America also not a fan of the exclusionary Jewish, and other groups of people brought together for whatever reason other than to put up American flags everywhere?
I protest, and stuff, but mostly just because of what you said about Christian music and Bach (come on). Other things are just a bonus, and stuff.
When commenting about Bach, I was mostly trying to consider who was an excellent musician who wrote entirely for the church (well... if you excuse Bach's blasphemous Coffee Cantata). But, the music comment was mostly hyperbolic for the sake of humor. I own several Collective Soul albums, and won't stop listening to them. However, I'd be dumbfounded if I could find a musician who wrote almost entirely for the Church who was decent; although I'm open to suggestions.
As for Christian literature, I consider literature to practically be sanctified. I'm fairly abhorrent of literature written for reasons other than pure artistic inspiration. And it's not that other writings aren't worthwhile or even enjoyable, they just really shouldn't get the name "literature." A lousy story written to expressly glorify the author is no worse than a lousy story written expressly to glorify God/Jesus/religious figures.
I admit, I am not a fan of any religious group that is very exclusionary. (Which is not to say that I hate all religions.) However, Christians are particularly aggravating when they exclude themselves from the mainstream, because they cry out that they are oppressed, when they fail to notice the egregious amount of preference they have in this country; and also the egregious amount of oppression they cause in their demands for religious freedom (e.g.: school-sanctioned prayer). It is repulsive to me that a group which already has institutionalized favoritism in this country feels the need to remove itself from the mainstream, and, in nearly the same moment, cry out that it's being ignored by the State and that it deserves special treatment. You either exclude yourself from everyone and not expect them to still give you preferential treatment, or you flow with the mainstream and enjoy majority status. I'm sorry exclusionary Christians, but if you want to know what it's like to be oppressed, try being one of the groups you've oppressed/enslaved/killed via mass genocide. All credibility as an oppressed religion in early times have been lost due to the unfathomable amount of harm you have brought to others since.
P.S.: I don't dislike non-english-speaking immigrants, I just think when they expect other people to understand Spanish/Dutch/Armenian/Czech/whatever, they're being a bit ridiculous. I also think Americans that go to non-english countries and expect people to understand them are also ridiculous, and should be publicly flogged for their colonialist smugness.
We're waiting for the next installment, Neat Feet
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