Cooking with Sylvia Plath!

I was busy being engrossed in what is a several month-long relationship involving me, Sex and the City on DVD, and NetFlix, when I came upon this realization: Don't date writers. Now perhaps it's not clear how I came about this, so I'll explain. Carrie, the main character of Sex and the City is a writer herself. But more importantly, at some point in the show (specifically the Fifth Season, Disc 2) she dates a writer. And I cannot tell you how much that spells doom. And some of you may know that I am actually a writer. And I'm actually married. But please don't let my husband in on it.
Writers are never social people. In fact, out of two personality types, A and B, they fall under Personality Type X. As in eX-boyfriend/girlfriend material. As in eXtremely unsociable. As in, eXcuse me while I ignore you to bask in the warm glow of my loneliness/depression/alcoholism/Faulkner obsession/hopelessly doomed love affair since that relationship will at least fuel my desire to write.
I've often found outrage at the idea that writing (perhaps more than any other art) gets sequestered into a specific "non-artistic" category. Perhaps writers should get together and boost the image of writing. They could form unions, or even e-mail groups or--wait, no, I'm sorry. They have chatrooms and unions and get-togethers. But no one ever shows up to the meetings. They're all busy trying to read Faulkner underwater and backwards to try and catch the multiple narratives.
Seriously: name me one celebrated author (dead or alive) who would make a terrific date. Plath? Suicidal after a disastrous marriage. Twain? Plagued by familial and finanical ruin. Hemingway? Alcoholism. Faulkner? Alcoholism. Capote? Alcoholism. Poe? Alcoholism (and married his cousin). Fitzgerald? Alcoholism. Melville? Alcoholism. Hawthorne? Puritanism.

But if you're seriously thinking of dating a writer, try picking one up at an AA meeting. I imagine that's the only time we'd come out of the woodwork. Either that, or join an <3Faulkner Yahoo! group.