An armed robbery and sexual assault of my time.

Good lord, I need to get away from my house and actually do some work. Isn't it a bit true it's far easier to work when you're in Starbucks or a library rather than at home with so many far more entertaining things surrounding you? I have an upcoming doozy of a semester, and I'm still facing an existential crisis regarding grad school (English or French PhD? And whatever happened to my Italian?). I think I'm going to eat something and get my ass somewhere it can be productive rather than procrastinatory.

Disabled = sexabled?

I must admit how terrible a person I can be. Perhaps it's my introverted nature, or maybe I'm really just an awful jerk (survey says. . . both). And because of today's college atmosphere, I have to admit to myself and the people who grade me that I'm really lousy in most environments which involve volunteer work. Old people can't hear me (I speak in a frequency which people are likely to go deaf in, and I also alternate the volume and pitch of my voice in a pattern inconsistent with normal speech), I am bad with kids (I once started a fight between two kids while doing afterschool tutoring), and I was raised by Republicans and naturally have an issue with the homeless. But there's one disability that I can somehow work with: disabled people. My only issue is that I'm afraid I'll offend them, but I think everyone feels that way unless they've been around them for a long time.

So I guess this isn't really a great preface, but I've just read an enlightening article I got off the current Savage Love Column about sex surrogates--which are like the über volunteers of disabled people. Essentially, these are trained people who enabled disabled people to love their bodies, and to learn how to love others as well (and I do mean that naughty, fun kinda love). While the writer does express his eventual cynicism--his surrogate was only so helpful when all she eventually gave him was false hopes. But I think he does suggest something better--hospitals which rehabilitate the disabled in sexual matters as well as others. I mean, what would be the first question on my mind if I suddenly became disabled: "Am I still going to be able to have sex?"
"Will anyone want to have sex with me?"
"Will I be left to disabled fetishists and prostitutes for sexual needs?"
"Am I even going to be able to get myself off?"

Why the fuck aren't rehabilitation hospitals doing this? I think disabled people have enough trouble. Sure, teach them to cook for themselves and be independent, but show them how to fuck, how to date, how to love, and how to love themselves. It's a new world in that of disability, and I don't think we should just leave it to their great personality for them to find someone willing to take on all of the responsibilities which come with loving a disabled person. I think if I could get past the disabled nature of someone, I would certainly go on a date, and, if all went well, hop in the sack--or chair--I'm flexible. But it would be difficult to actually go that distance with someone if they were so wound up about hating their body or being afraid to hop in the sack--or chair--I'd be more turned off than a cold piece of fried cod. C'mon, think about how much easier it would be (relatively) for disabled people to hook up if they could summon the confidence to seal the deal/push the envelope/fuck someone on a date. Starting the disabled off on the right foot (excuse the terribly insensitive pun--refer to the first sentence for an explanation) with self confidence and a healthy attitude about their sexuality could just do wonders for them on the dating scene.

How can our medical system acknowledge the importance of sexuality to mental and physical health, and then turn it away in actual practice at the same time? Get a grip, health system. No, lower. Little lower. There you go.

Now deal with it.

Your Right to Free Kink

I'm all for Gay rights. I have gay, queer, bi, trans, etc. friends, and they're absolutely delightful human beings. And I think that no one should deny someone a job based solely on their sexual orientation or their bedroom preferences (or for race, sex, religion, or any of those other ugly discriminations). But with that being said, I don't think the queer community (or any community, for that matter) should use their "minority" status as a crutch or a scapegoat.

Take this kinky, pagan fellow. Kudos to him for being counter-culture and open about his sexuality. And while his civil suit is really bordering on TMI, I wonder why it's relevant. Did he walk into the chauffeur-permit-granting institution in a black leather mask with a whip in hand? Because I could understand why someone would not want to grant even a fishing permit to someone dressed like that in public. I'm all for BDSM, but y'all have to admit it's a bit creepy when you start wearing the full costume in broad daylight. And if he wasn't dressed to fuck, then why would the discriminating officer even know to deny him a permit based on his BDSM status? I can really only draw two conclusions: either this guy wears his kinks on his sleeve (which is really not a good quality to have for a chauffeur), or he's just bringing up the issue because he wants to make a lot of legal noise about something that didn't even factor into the decision.

No, I don't think we should discriminate over someone's kinks, but I also don't think your personal sexual preferences should be brought up over a chauffeur-permit application. So, I'm going to suppose that this whole denial has some other reason other than his BDSM-loving ass, and the true source of his permit denial probably resonates with the legitimacy of some other reason: like having a felony on his record (like kidnapping?), or having too many traffic tickets, or just not having all the proper information.

This kind of attitude is just reprehensible to me: to not just ignore one's own shortcomings in life, but also to demand that the rest of society ignore them for fear of upsetting one's minority status. Your minority status is not your crutch. And if you want to stop being considered a minority, maybe you should stop insisting on special treatment over it. I mean, when you start getting down into minority status over sexual kinks, almost everyone is a minority. Also, to compare something like one's own bedroom preference to the light of the oppression that other minorities have suffered (consider the slavery of race, the genocides of religion, the lynchings of sexuality, the silencing of gender) is utterly ridiculous. No dominatrix has suffered the way that blacks did in early colonial America (or the Native Americans, for that matter). No foot fetishist was forced into concentration camps. No latex-lover was dragged from the back of a truck for miles and then hung dead on a makeshift cross for his family and friends to find.

This BDSM-loving pagan man's false cry of prejudice is an insult to the real minorities that have suffered. It seems unlikely that any discrimination could have occurred, since one's Pagan or BDSM status are unlikely to come up on a chauffeur-permit application. I smell the foul scent of special rights for stupid reasons, and I'm sickened by it.